Communication
Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and honestly, whilst not violating the personal rights of others. Assertiveness does not mean being aggressive, or acting to inhibit the rights of other to express their own feelings, opinions and beliefs in a similar manner.
Behaving assertively allows you to feel more self-confident and often results in those you deal with regarding you with more respect. In addition, it allows your relationships with friends and colleagues to be based on honest expression of thoughts and feelings, which in the long run usually leads to more rewarding personal relationships. Assertive people frequently have a strong and healthy self-image, feel confident and self-assured, and believe they lead a more fulfilling life.
Like any life skill, assertive behaviour must be learnt, practiced and refined. Sometimes people don't get the opportunity to learn appropriate assertive behaviour. In other circumstances that behaviour isn't reinforced through practice, and can be replaced by other less-healthy styles of interaction. At other times people may not feel they have a legitimate right to act assertively. In some instances a bad experience or succession of events can undermine a person's belief in their right to be assertive, and they can find themselves acting in a passive fashion.
It's important to think carefully about your rights when starting to act in a more assertive manner, and match these concepts with the rights of those you deal with. Counsellors can often be helpful in clarifying these rights, and help in practicing assertive skills. In addition, the Counselling Service conducts training workshops on assertiveness skills throughout the year, where people can explore and expand their range of assertive behaviour.