Intimate Relationships
Although a source of great satisfaction, relationships on a more intimate level can also be rather confusing.
When people are really connected to each other, they usually feel more able to express what they're feeling than in more distant relationships, whether communicating through words or behaviour. It can then become more difficult to separate our own feelings from what the other person is expressing, and moods can change within minutes.
Issues to consider when confronted with difficulties are:
- Time together - Are we meeting in the way both people want? Is your time together enough, and do you have enough energy and real availability for one another?
- Jealousy - Do you feel pushed aside by someone else? Do you feel you're getting the right sort of attention? Are you giving enough back to the relationship?
- Sex - Is this the source of pleasure and comfort it should be?
- Affection - Are you hearing and saying the words you like, and touching each other in a friendly way?
- Friendship - Do you support the other person, really listen to them and encourage them? Do you feel this support in return?
- Reactions of others - Are family and friends trying to stop the relationship? Should you listen to what they're saying, or do you need to assert yourself?
- Directions - is it unclear what sort of relationship it is, and where it is going?
- Communication and problem-solving - If there's a problem, but the other person avoids the point, or you begin to feel they're not to be trusted, or that they don't understand or respect what you're asking, then that's another problem. Maybe you need to talk things over with a counsellor.
The Counselling Service can assist with all these matters, if the need arises.